Give yourself a break

It has taken me about 3 weeks to write this blog post on stress. There have been multiple iterations, but none finished, none quite right… and the irony of course is that I have simply been too stressed to write it.

I first tried to tell you about useful methods for preventing stress – but it seemed a little futile. Plunged into a second lockdown – now was not the time to tell you (or myself) what we should have done to feel less shell-shocked this time round. Beating ourselves up for not being better at handling stress will not make us better at handling stress.

Then I tried to tell you all about the symptoms of stress, the emotional, cognitive, physical and behavioural nuances, but the problem was I was so consumed by it that I couldn’t trust myself. I honestly thought I was losing my mind – I privately hoped that I was, or that I could claim some official diagnosis that would absolve me from this responsibility of “keeping-it-together”.

I fell apart.

Stress is overwhelming – to our senses, our thoughts, our feelings. It affects our behaviours, our relationships and our sense of self.

So I am not going to tell you what you already know. I am just going to remind you to give yourself a break.

Look out the window

Right now.

Gaze, undirectedly out of the window. Give your eyes a break. Give your mind a break.

If you have to move to look out the window, even better.

A small break will help to give you breathing space. To remember that you are human, and you are just as marvellous as that majestic bird swooping down, or the leaves dancing on the trees, or the patterns in the bricks, or rust, or cobwebs.

Relax your jaw

I know. We all need the reminder.

Open your mouth a few times. Find a yawn.

Feel your face. Feel the warmth or the coolness of your hands on your cheeks, your eyes, your forehead and down your jaw. Massage your scalp – you’ll know what to do. Grasp your hair between your fingers and give it a little squeeze.

Rock your pelvis

Place your feet on the floor, sit on the edge of your seat, and just rock forwards and back.

Try a twist.

Put your hands on the outside edges of the seat behind you and lean into them. Extend your legs. Rock through your feet.

Small movements like this help to relieve tension but also to remind you that you have a body. We’re often so distracted that we forget to attend to it until it’s screaming at us.

Roll your shoulders

You know the drill.

Forwards, backwards, one then the other, both at the same time.

Relax your chin to your chest. Give yourself a hug. Drop the shoulders. Drop the narrative. You know, that one that’s been playing over and over in your head. Drop it. Label it “thinking” and come back to the present moment. the elongation in the neck, the stretch across the shoulder blades – and when it comes back, label it “thinking” again.

Go for a walk

Put it all together now and go for a walk.

Take a look at the environment around you. Feel your jaw relax. Find movement in your pelvis and your shoulders. Swing your arms. Find your stride. Enjoy the fresh air. (And maybe invest in some waterproofs).

Build it into your routine

Our long term stress prevention techniques are the same as our short term stress prevention techniques.

It simply starts with a better routine.

When I was writing my PhD, my most productive days where when I gave myself 2 hour breaks!

I’d get up and before getting dressed I’d start writing for 2 hours, 7-9am. Then I’d take two hours for breakfast, showering, and a bit of yoga, 9-11. Work for another two hours 11-1. Lunch and a telly break, 1-3. Final two hours of work – normally a bit of planning, or stream-of-consciousness writing to help prepare me for the next days writing. Then chill for the rest of the day! I got more written in those 6 hours than when I got up early and sat frozen at my desk till late.

I’m still working on getting my routine right with the current lockdown. It normally involves going for a walk at some point and I’m working on some self-massage techniques to shake off the fatigue.

But my next goal is to reduce my screen-time – if it’s not my laptop, it’s my phone and if its not my phone, its the TV!

If you feel like you could do with a bit more TLC, book in for a massage.

If you book in during the month of November (for December) you’ll get 25% discount 🙂